"Happiness is like a butterfly;the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."-Thoreau

Monday, May 5, 2008

Mondays are always hard..

Lately Mondays are the hardest days for me. I long for more rest, even after the weekend, and also just want to be home with Abby. This past weekend I gave a baby shower for my friend Laura at our house. Laura and I have been friends since Jr. high school as well as suite mates and roommates when i was at Carolina and after I moved back to Charlotte. So, I am so excited for her and really wanted to give her a great baby shower. I worked so hard this weekend trying to prepare and make sure the house was just the way I wanted it. I have noticed that whenever I have showers or invite people over to our house I have a strong desire to decorate and do things I have been procrastinating. Saturday was just busy, I picked up around the house, went to Costco to pick up the various food items for the shower, went to Lowe's for flowers and plants for the yard, made my chicken salad croissants, made tea, went back to Lowe's and bought curtains and mirror, went to Target to pick up some things, back to Home depot to pick up the curtain rods that Lowe's didn't have, picked up Abby at my mom's, then took care of Abby and got her ready for bed, asked Heth to hang the curtains and mirror :) (it was already around 9:45 by this time) and then finally went to bed around 11. Needless to say, it was a busy day. On Sunday I got up and continued the rush to finish everything and start decorating my table and had Heth move all of the baby stuff out of the family room to the upstairs. The shower started at 2 and my friends Stacey and Erin arrived around 1:00 to help set up the food. The shower was great. We had great food, and my friend Stacey even made a watermelon baby carriage that was incredible. I will post pictures of this as soon as I get them downloaded onto my computer. So, in doing all of this on the weekend I woke up Monday morning exhausted. The last week at work was already starting to catch up with me as well as all of the nights of interrupted sleep for the past 16 weeks of my life. Don't get me wrong, I can't complain, Abby is a great sleeper. Last night she slept through the night and has been doing this off and on for the past week. But, the adjustment with working, since school starts for me at 7:15 and I usually get there by 6:40, has been really hard. Some days I just wish I could sleep all day. Those of yous who are moms out there know exactly how I feel. Furthermore, as I woke up yesterday I was so tired that I seriously did not think i was going to be able to make it through the day. I found myself almost on my knees asking the Lord to give me strength. I was yearning for the word of God to fill up my spirit and give me the energy I needed. I turned to an old devotional book that my mother bought me before I went to college. I can't tell you how many times I have gone through this book and every time I open the pages it seems to apply to the current situation in my life and God speaks to me. The verse for Monday was Psalm 3:4. "I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah". I learned that Selah is the Hebrew musical word for "rest", a "pause", "a lifting up". This reminded me that in times when i need rest I can pause, lift my prayers up to God and He will refresh, renew and help me to rest in Him. I was amazed that even when I get busy and don't always put God first in my life, He still seeks me out and wants me to find peace and rest in His presence. This was a refreshing thought that helped me get through my hard Monday. I am so thankful for the loving, giving, merciful, caring God that loves me unconditionally even when I am so far from being my best for Him. God continues to use Abby's life and my new realities to teach me more about His love for me and draw me closer to Him everyday.

1 comment:

Courtney said...

Very encouraging, Cindy! Being a mom is tough. Being a working mom is really tough - emotionally and physically. It's hard to rise above all of that and find the energy to keep trucking sometimes. Sounds like you're doing a great job, though...Take care :)